Conversation Strategies 🗣🗯
Advice on how to better handle conversations about politics and #Election2020 this Thanksgiving.
We were all faced with challenges this year. Now that the holiday season is coming up, it may be the first time many of us have seen our family members in a long time.
Considering the election just happened and results are just being confirmed, politics will probably come up in conversation. That’s almost a guarantee, especially if you knew my family.
A YouGov poll released this week found that 75% of people think their families aren’t going to argue at this year’s Thanksgiving. However, of the 17% who said they will predict some sort of disagreement and 43% said it would be because of politics.
The same poll said that most Americans are going to spend Thanksgiving with like-minded people. Only 20% of Republicans said they were going to be in a politically mixed group and just 12% of Democrats said the same.
UConn Associate History Professor Brendan Kane, a coordinator of UConn’s Democracy and Dialogues Initiative, provided some advice on how to handle these conversations this year. His answers have been edited for length.
Q. How can college students best facilitate dialogue with their family members on contentious topics like the election?
“Dialogue is not debate. If you want people to hash it out and have winners and losers, then sure have a debate or argument. But if you wish to have a space where people can talk about something that is an elephant in the room and needs to be addressed before going forward, or you just simply wish to have a conversation about it, then try to set some gentle ground rules for actual dialogue.”
Q. Is it better for students to avoid the conversation? If so, how would you recommend they go about doing that?
“I do actually think that avoidance is perfectly fine. And if one wishes to practice avoidance — which I find myself doing frequently with my in-laws — it can be best to simply let that happen naturally as opposed to announcing it.”
Q. If students live in a family that has one dominant set of viewpoints, how do they go about talking about the other side?
“I think a critical point here is making crystal clear that there are vastly more than two sides. Reducing things to two sides, which we often do, creates a false situation in which there are only two views on the world. But we know that that is false, and that it is the product of a two-party political system. Thus, one can find common ground as a means to remind of another's humanity, i.e. make sure to show your agreement on points that might resonate with you while remaining clear and honest about points of difference.”